Almost Medieval.

There’s a naked lady on the other side | Lipstick Queen in Medieval, £22 Cult Beauty

I’m a simple yet contradictory being. I own one MAC lipstick ’cause they’re “expensive”, but give me a £5 Cult Beauty voucher that’s only valid for an evening and I’m all about the fancy-pants stuff. ‘Medieval’ is my first Lipstick Queen purchase, and though it was listed with a rather whimsical blurb of fair maids ‘n’ rosebud lips that would get a side-eye from George R R Martin, the idea of a sheer red won me over. The photo below has some mad colours, but basically it’s like blusher for yr mouth: the shade you wished you went, but never do without some gunky makeup help.

Big forehead: authentically medieval. Duckface: maybe not

For whatever reason I wasn’t getting my hopes up – but my word, it’s worth yr pennies. Looks imperceptibly ‘nice’, doesn’t clash with the rest of my pink face, doesn’t emphasise my wonky lipline… Next stop: Hello Sailor. It’s BLUE goddamnit.