Here It Comes.

The great ball in the sky! For some reason everyone’s bitching about ‘this summer so far’, but let’s not forget that a) it’s only June and b) there have been some very decent days of sunshine. This is what I wore for one of them, doing nothing more than going to Boots, tutting at crowds on Brick Lane and coming back home again.

Summertime sadness | Denim jacket, Free’P’Star; Polka-dot jacket, Urban Outfitters; Vest, H&M; Culotte shorts, ASOS; Shoes, Topshop

I’m looking down because in the rest I was all crazy eyes, not because I was contemplating anything in particular. In fact the crazy eyes may have been down to a small (ish) hangover, which seems to inspire me to dress up to work through the pain. I figured out this super ~styling trick~ for my jackets by seeing them piled on top of each other, which just goes to show you shouldn’t always be tidy.

Give me life

On my lips I was wearing Maybelline Color Elixir in ‘Signature Scarlet’ (part of an overexcited Target spree), which goes on nice and doesn’t stick to the dry bits on my lips. Here’s a big photo of me being super happy with that (it also lasted pretty well through that can of Rubicon Suncrest, if you were wondering).

CHEEZ WIZ | Sunglasses, Topshop

If you were paying attention in my last post you might recognise that I accessorize/ruin all my ‘summery’ outfits with the same denim jacket. It is my barometer for what I consider a good level of heat, and I like that it comes from Paris whilst being the least Parisian item of clothing ever. Long may it reign, and not rain. SUMMER!

Muffled.

Earmuffs, £17 American Apparel
Earmuffs, £17 American Apparel

After declaring all winter this far that I was too grown up for earmuffs, I saw these in American Apparel and couldn’t resist. They are £17, and I hate myself a little for envisioning a “hey, I’m an adult with disposable income that I chose to spend on earmuffs!” situation. SUCKER. Still, they’re go-big-or-go-home and I’m in love. I haven’t got a picture of the earmuffs in their natural habitat (…of outside the house) so here’s me givin’ good spam in my living room.

Big earmuffs, bigger forehead | Earmuffs, £17 American Apparel
Big earmuffs, bigger forehead

Seriously though, these things are warm. Beanies are great but they got nothin’ on these for when the cold really sets in (although a few unscientific surveys suggest that I have particularly sensitive/big/elephant ears). Also file under: things you can wear with your hair up. Plus, most people smile at you when you’re wearing them, which is nice in the depressing post-Christmas wasteland of January. Earmuffs, I’ll never deny you again.

Soft Soft Soft.

I’ve been on a bit of a trouser odyssey these past couple of months: I got no love for Super Cosy Tights when all of a sudden my collection of slacks has exploded. The standout discovery has been these ASOS Peg Trousers though. Cheap and most definitely cheerful, I’ve got two wintery prints and they’re helping a lot with my apparent New Year ambition to get everything as pyjama-like as possible.

something something
Trousers, now £13 ASOS | Faux-suede boots, £10 Primark

My two prints of choice so far are “William Morris” and “carpet” (not official product names), and despite the thin material they’ve held up well to a wet ‘n’ wintery season. I’ve also managed to convince both my mum and some girls in the pub that they’re a godsend, so they must be doing something right.

something something
Trousers, £22 ASOS | Faux-suede boots, £10 Primark

Of course, there’s the usual mega-bargain pitfalls of erratic sizing: for two pairs in the same cut and size, the fit varies noticeably. That’s the only downside I can note though, and I really hope they stay around for summer because some of these in palm print worn with sandals would be my dream. Until then, velvet…?

Almost Medieval.

There's a naked lady on the other side | Lipstick Queen in Medieval, £22 Cult Beauty
There’s a naked lady on the other side | Lipstick Queen in Medieval, £22 Cult Beauty

I’m a simple yet contradictory being. I own one MAC lipstick ’cause they’re “expensive”, but give me a £5 Cult Beauty voucher that’s only valid for an evening and I’m all about the fancy-pants stuff. ‘Medieval’ is my first Lipstick Queen purchase, and though it was listed with a rather whimsical blurb of fair maids ‘n’ rosebud lips that would get a side-eye from George R R Martin, the idea of a sheer red won me over. The photo below has some mad colours, but basically it’s like blusher for yr mouth: the shade you wished you went, but never do without some gunky makeup help.

Big forehead: authentically medieval. Duckface: maybe not
Big forehead: authentically medieval. Duckface: maybe not

For whatever reason I wasn’t getting my hopes up – but my word, it’s worth yr pennies. Looks imperceptibly ‘nice’, doesn’t clash with the rest of my pink face, doesn’t emphasise my wonky lipline… Next stop: Hello Sailor. It’s BLUE goddamnit.

Fluff.

You probably won’t be able to tell, but this post has been a long time in the making. First of all, I’d already written a love letter to this Topshop jumper by the time I found a loose thread that basically unravelled the whole thing – so we’re on Jumper #2, and I’m hoping ‘eyelash knit’/spider legs aren’t just inherently unreliable jumper materials. Then there were the damned photos. Down below looks like smiling, but it’s actually “if my feet aren’t in this shot, I’m gonna cut them off”.

Feet! And some half-stripped walls for yr pleasure.
Feet! And some half-stripped walls for yr pleasure.

Eventually though, it’s a post I felt worth writing. A cropped black jumper is as near as I get to a wardrobe staple beyond M&S underwear, and it’s a rare day I feel okay in an outfit this lacking in colour. You may also notice I’ve had a haircut. I’m still getting used to styling it, and today was a Head-and-Shoulders-and-see-what-happens kinda day. At first it was a bit Michael Hutchence (but Into the Gloss says that kinda stuff is okay), then a bit scarecrow… hairclips are still my friend. A bit of purple eyeliner and Rimmel’s ‘Not An Illusion’ Colour Rush Balm as well for my “I don’t give a damn about these photos any more” face.

I really, really don't.
I really, really don’t.

Cute & Sleazy & Cursed.

Goodness knows what this title’s gonna do for my search engine rank, but Cute & Sleazy is the name of this set of nail stickers from Sara M Lyons on Etsy (look closely enough and you’ll see there’s no skimping on the latter). I thought they’d be complimented well by the cutest and sleaziest new addition to my wardrobe, this leopard furry number from Primark. Teamed here with an H+M T-shirt dress that’s migrated half the way across my chest, and a new Topshop bag I’m holding back-to-front.

Outfit Photos 101: FAILED
Outfit Photos 101: FAILED

I’d waited for a bit to wear the stickers, and finally decided that today was the day: three fresh coats of Rimmel’s Black Cherries later, I realised that you were supposed to paint your nails with a light colour for them to show up. There’s a little strawberry on Ruby Ring, not that you’d know it.

Reading instructions: FAILED
Reading instructions: FAILED

Just to leave you with something successful, here’s my phone decorated in the normal-sticker versions, alongside a few puffy Japanese stickers and a poodle with blusher on. Makes reading this whole thing worth it, right?

HI I'M A POODLE WITH BLUSHER AND A BOW TIE
HI I’M A POODLE WITH BLUSHER AND A BOW TIE

One day, I’ll get better at all this.

Darken.

L-R: Stellar, Big Bang, Eclipse
L-R: RImmel Apocalips in Stellar, Big Bang, Eclipse

Now this is never gonna become a beauty blog, but sometimes it’s just a matter of surface area – it’s easier to choose a little bit of coloured gunk over all those yards of fabric. Thanks to some sort of eyelid complaint (ever glamorous), I’ve been focusing on lips the past week or so and bought two new shades of Rimmel Apocalips. This stuff is good ’cause it smells like watermelon sweets, is easy to put on, and has a ridiculous space theme that’s really nothing to do with anything.

Top-bottom: Big Bang, Eclipse
Top-bottom: Big Bang, Eclipse

I had the hot pink shade Stellar over the summer, but now it’s time to bring out the big scary shades. The whole dark-lips-for-winter thing might be a little clichéd, but it works damn it. It’s also the first time I’ve been brave enough to dedicate myself to lipstick, as someone who spends a fair amount of time (preferably all the time) eating/living/generally doing lipstick-destroying activities. I’m making friends with the mirror, although I quite want to splash out on this Illamasqua lip pencil in Severity to really hold it all in place. Speaking of severe…

This is my WELL DARK face
This is my WELL DARK face. Happy Halloween?

Pinny Party.

If you look long enough, you'll see faces. Dresses, Topshop
If you look long enough, you’ll see faces. Dresses, Topshop

I was looking for a dress, then I found a dress. More specifically, I was looking for a pinafore that wasn’t too short and pref in a light colour, then threw all my foibles away in Primark. Heaven knows I’m predictable now!

Truth be told, I was mostly looking out for an appropriate pinafore ’cause they combine a few of my favourite things about dresses: namely a tight waist with free hips, and endless customisation potential according to what you wear with them, but with more identity than a mere skirt. This number has skinny leather straps to differentiate it, and it’s now black tights weather so who cares about hemlines?

If you wanna buy me a camera and some daylight that'd be great! Dress, Primark | Shirt, Urban Outfitters
If you wanna buy me a camera and some daylight that’d be great! Dress, Primark | Shirt, Urban Outfitters

Everyone’s gone on about the childhood connotations of dungarees, but I have none of these – was I the only kid who didn’t wear dungarees, ever? Not entirely fairly, the one childhood picture that I identify most with sees me in a fake Ninja Turtles tracksuit from the market, a mullet and barely healed chicken pox marks. What I’m trying to say is: I rarely wore nice stuff as a child (apart from this obvs) so I’m wearing it now. I also have a large poster of a squirrel in my room. Make of it what you will.

Just me and my squirrel. Dress, Primark | Jumper, Gap via Goodwill
Just me and my squirrel. Dress, Primark | Jumper, Gap via Goodwill

Thoroughly Unmodern.

In all my long years of reading blogs but not writing one, it seemed to me the activity of blogging must be a good way to define what you’re really into. In the few months since I’ve gotten round to setting this up, I’ve found the opposite to be true. There’s the last post about my frivolous distractions (though I’ve done a 180 on that again) but also a growing bank of unpublished drafts, never to be finished since they no longer make sense in my here-there-everywhere narrative. The more I plan, the more scope there is for me to go completely off-piste as soon as I see something shiny.

Still, I am trying – which makes it all the more galling when I go to town with shopping list in hand, and am cruelly DENIED. Cobra-print Monki shirt? Not in the shop. Supercool Zara slip dress? Not over those hips. For the latter point, see also: frustration in the changing rooms of American Apparel, & Other Stories, and Topshop. Undeterred (okay, I was very deterred) I poked around Beyond Retro, where lo and behold I found two things that fit perfectly. So what if one of my finds is a work-inappropriate, barely-there summer dress? St. Michael was looking down on me. The other is at least kinda with-the-program – a high-waisted houndstooth skirt that’s got both respectability and a bit of edge.

Parklife! Jumper, H&M | Skirt, Beyond Retro | Shoes, Dr Martens
Parklife! Jumper, H&M | Skirt, Beyond Retro | Shoes, Dr Martens | Sunglasses, Primark

Precisely zero evidence of dem problematic ~curves~ in this get up, but them’s the breaks. Pretty excited just to wear a jumper, if I’m honest. Accuweather assures me there’ll be one more weekend where I can break out the M&S dress in all its glory, but we’ll see. Best not to make plans, eh?

Back.

Welsh blowdry
Welsh blowdry

Back in London, and I have been for a few days. Making the switch from a week without internet (not just wi-fi, no nuffin’) to deskbound London makes me realise there’s a whole ‘nother timescale going on here – one which means your intentions to blog one day somehow end up publishing themselves four days later. ANYWAY. I’ve got charity stuff to show you, and a/w musings, and all manner of fun will be had.

For now though, arriving fifteen minutes early for a burgerfest resulted in a purchase which might have kicked off my new season as it will go on, in terms of Boring (Good Boring) and Cheap. A navy piqué sweatshirt from American Apparel for £15 in the sale, the perfect accompaniment to the collars in your life – and I’ve got a lot of them.

Picture above is from the Pembrokeshire Coastal Path, which I highly recommend if you’re a fan of walking on the edge of cliffs/being blown about somewhat. Best topped off with a cheese sandwich and millionaire shortbread from the Spar – just trust me on that one.