Here It Comes.

The great ball in the sky! For some reason everyone’s bitching about ‘this summer so far’, but let’s not forget that a) it’s only June and b) there have been some very decent days of sunshine. This is what I wore for one of them, doing nothing more than going to Boots, tutting at crowds on Brick Lane and coming back home again.

Summertime sadness | Denim jacket, Free’P’Star; Polka-dot jacket, Urban Outfitters; Vest, H&M; Culotte shorts, ASOS; Shoes, Topshop

I’m looking down because in the rest I was all crazy eyes, not because I was contemplating anything in particular. In fact the crazy eyes may have been down to a small (ish) hangover, which seems to inspire me to dress up to work through the pain. I figured out this super ~styling trick~ for my jackets by seeing them piled on top of each other, which just goes to show you shouldn’t always be tidy.

Give me life

On my lips I was wearing Maybelline Color Elixir in ‘Signature Scarlet’ (part of an overexcited Target spree), which goes on nice and doesn’t stick to the dry bits on my lips. Here’s a big photo of me being super happy with that (it also lasted pretty well through that can of Rubicon Suncrest, if you were wondering).

CHEEZ WIZ | Sunglasses, Topshop

If you were paying attention in my last post you might recognise that I accessorize/ruin all my ‘summery’ outfits with the same denim jacket. It is my barometer for what I consider a good level of heat, and I like that it comes from Paris whilst being the least Parisian item of clothing ever. Long may it reign, and not rain. SUMMER!

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Colder.

I’ve been writing this for a while, but today someone linked to an apocalyptic weather piece illustrated with pictures from Scandinavia/Russia/Photoshop of people drowning in snow, so no time like the present. How to survive winter the HT way!

Lush Popcorn Scrub and Nuxe Reve de Miel

For winter mouf | Popcorn Scrub, £5.25 Lush; Reve de Miel stick, £6 Marks and Spencer

Dry lips don’t just look bad, they feel bad. As someone who will bleed for the cause if I don’t use lip balm in the winter, I feel like I can confidently recommend these two. Scrub yr lips with sugar, then eat it. Eat it up, dead skin and all – or just wipe it off if you prefer non-cannibalistic beauty routines. Then put on this lovely stick, which isn’t shiny so you don’t look like cd:uk era Cat Deeley. That’s it! And don’t get me started on Vaseline.

Body Shop Camomile Cleanser

For winter cheeks | Cleanser, £12 The Body Shop

This stuff will clean your face real good. And if for whatever reason you don’t want to clean your face, use it with cotton wool to take off your makeup. It’s the consistency of coconut oil, which you could use to much the same effect – just don’t try and fry your eggs in this stuff.

Touchscreen Gloves

For winter texts | Gloves, Tiger

For obvious reasons. These actually work (apart from the occasional thumb-swipe) and you can get pointlessly expensive ones (Muji, Urban Outfitters), mid-priced (H&M, Tiger) or dirt cheap (Primark). Just be careful with the latter, as their definition of ‘glove season’ is dangerously narrow – try and buy a pair in April when it’s still freezing and you’ll be confronted with a wall of novelty sunglasses instead. And if you don’t have a touchscreen phone, I salute you.

Beanie ‘n’ Scarf

For winter head ‘n’ shoulders | Hat, £2-ish, Amazon; Scarf, Primark

Where all else fails, the beanie ‘n’ scarf combo rings true. Anyone who’s a fan of American Apparel beanies needs to STOP RIGHT NOW and get acquainted with Beechfield via Amazon or eBay, where nothing is over £3.50. Thank me later. The scarf is from Primark last year, and the latest in a long line of tartan scarves I inevitably lose. Only because I love them.

Any further suggestions?

Almost Medieval.

There's a naked lady on the other side | Lipstick Queen in Medieval, £22 Cult Beauty
There’s a naked lady on the other side | Lipstick Queen in Medieval, £22 Cult Beauty

I’m a simple yet contradictory being. I own one MAC lipstick ’cause they’re “expensive”, but give me a £5 Cult Beauty voucher that’s only valid for an evening and I’m all about the fancy-pants stuff. ‘Medieval’ is my first Lipstick Queen purchase, and though it was listed with a rather whimsical blurb of fair maids ‘n’ rosebud lips that would get a side-eye from George R R Martin, the idea of a sheer red won me over. The photo below has some mad colours, but basically it’s like blusher for yr mouth: the shade you wished you went, but never do without some gunky makeup help.

Big forehead: authentically medieval. Duckface: maybe not
Big forehead: authentically medieval. Duckface: maybe not

For whatever reason I wasn’t getting my hopes up – but my word, it’s worth yr pennies. Looks imperceptibly ‘nice’, doesn’t clash with the rest of my pink face, doesn’t emphasise my wonky lipline… Next stop: Hello Sailor. It’s BLUE goddamnit.

Darken.

L-R: Stellar, Big Bang, Eclipse
L-R: RImmel Apocalips in Stellar, Big Bang, Eclipse

Now this is never gonna become a beauty blog, but sometimes it’s just a matter of surface area – it’s easier to choose a little bit of coloured gunk over all those yards of fabric. Thanks to some sort of eyelid complaint (ever glamorous), I’ve been focusing on lips the past week or so and bought two new shades of Rimmel Apocalips. This stuff is good ’cause it smells like watermelon sweets, is easy to put on, and has a ridiculous space theme that’s really nothing to do with anything.

Top-bottom: Big Bang, Eclipse
Top-bottom: Big Bang, Eclipse

I had the hot pink shade Stellar over the summer, but now it’s time to bring out the big scary shades. The whole dark-lips-for-winter thing might be a little clichéd, but it works damn it. It’s also the first time I’ve been brave enough to dedicate myself to lipstick, as someone who spends a fair amount of time (preferably all the time) eating/living/generally doing lipstick-destroying activities. I’m making friends with the mirror, although I quite want to splash out on this Illamasqua lip pencil in Severity to really hold it all in place. Speaking of severe…

This is my WELL DARK face
This is my WELL DARK face. Happy Halloween?